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Sunday, 3 July 2016

WRITING MAINTENANCE: A REPORT FROM A FUGITIVE.

My mouse foamed at the mouth. Or perhaps my computer foamed at the mouse. Either way, I sensed a spot of writing maintenance coming on.
   The horrible kind.


(My keyboard looks cleaner when photographed with the flash off.)

   What kind of maintenance? That oh no, I don't want to shake crumbs out of my keyboard kind. Yes. That.
   Putting the EW in QWERTY.
   This time, though, I was concerned about the mouse. An optical mouse feels sluggish and unresponsive. Is it the plague? I believe it is the plague. Nay.
   Aye, the plague it is.
   Nay, it cannot be. The optical mouse is not prone to the dread disease.
   We must operate upon the creature's innards.
   Nay.
   Aye!
   All those in favour, reach for the screwdriver.


*

And so...
   Writers, look after yourselves. Scribblers, secure your files. Save your data, and save in more than one location. Wordsmiths, maintain, fix, or replace vital equipment.
   Those of you writing books on your interactive smart rings, sentient piercings, or wifi-capable coffee mugs should take the keyboard/mouse advice and adapt accordingly.


*

What was inside my mouse? Er.
   By that, I mean ew.
   There were fragments of toffee. Am I a passionate consumer of toffee? Coffee, yes. Toffee, no. The mouse was upset by fragments of a toffee-like substance. I'm going to draw a veil over the rest of that scene.

2 comments:

  1. Hi! It's me, back from the dead.

    By the way, I agree with you about both Coffee and toffee. Never been a fan of toffee. Glad your mouse is rehabilitating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When you haul toffee out of your mouse (?!) and you know the last time you bought toffee was NEVER, then you have an icky problem. I solve icky problems by using a special magic potion called COFFEE. It might just catch on. ;)

      Delete

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