KEEPING THE INTERNET OUT OF A WRITER'S OFFICE.

My office is my office once more. For too long after the loss of two computers, I was camped out in my library typing on an emergency laptop.
   Newsflash.
   ALL laptops are EMERGENCY laptops.
   No more messing about.
   I chewed the bullet, and ordered a new computer. Getting used to that device took time. Seconds. It worked straight out of the box, which is a standard feature of computers now. I remember the height of sophistication in those sepia-toned days – watching a man with a red flag break his wrist on the starting handle. Oh, I miss all that.
   Just as I'd miss Ebola.
   Office equipment counts against tax.
   What else is new? The separation of Church from State. Very important feature of a writer's life. As a Kindle author, it was ludicrous not having the internet at home. But as an author, it's ludicrous having the internet on tap.
   I set up my Vast Publishing Empire™ without direct access to the internet. Instead, I used the public library – with its cheery band of characters. (Drug-addicts/dealers.)
   They'd stand in out of the rain, before hitting the tiny pharmacy for their methadone appointments. Doesn't do, to crowd regular punters from the tiny pharmacy. Cheers for that.
   Do I judge? Only the level of noise in the town library.
   What did the local library do for me?
   For a start, there was a walk to the place – so I gained in terms of exercise alone. I was also granted internet access. Now and again. If the machines worked. And if special interest groups didn't descend like locusts to pre-book the computers.
   Access was free.
   My right of complaint is nostalgic. Looking back on the disadvantages, I'd still have used the place. Even though I sat next to another patron who was a thin body-hair away from arrest. He was the poster-boy for before and after overt drug-use in the library toilet.
   When the library grew useless on technical grounds, I turned to friends. And when further technical difficulties arose, I resorted to my phone. I published at least once from my phone. Mind-boggling. To jump back in time and tell my past self that…
   My past self would be amazed. Not at the time travel – I've dabbled in other centuries. Hey, you are going to publish on your phone one day.
   I must stress that publishing from my phone was a tedious operation. Blogging from my phone, even more so.
   What did the town library internet access do for me?
   It forced me to plan my operation. Secret rendezvous with data. This is what I must find out. I can't be guaranteed more than half an hour on a computer if the place is booked up or extra-busy…worse, both. So I have to get in, do what I must, and come away with results. Every. Single. Time.
   I wanted to do more. In came the new computer. Then I added the internet. The two went wonderfully together. What had I done? I'd merged Church with State. The word was written, and the word was not good. If the internet wrote books for me, I'd be on the internet. The internet doesn't write books for me.
   So here I am, back in my office. The laptop has all sorts of USB goodies plugged into it, and that renders the machine fit for human habitation – should I choose to live inside the works.
   Over in my library, lurks the internet computer.
   If I want to blog, I write and then transfer data using a USB stick. Instead of going to the town library, I take a few steps to my library. Though I now have ready access to the internet, I must keep that access as contained as it was in the Olden Times…
   For one thing, a writing computer should have near-zero-risk attached to it. It's very hard to introduce a virus to a machine that just sits there generating data instead of generating and receiving.
   Mainly, though, the internet is a distraction. I was lucky to have the internet for an hour at a time. Do I become luckier with constant access? No. Church and State are separate again.
   Advantages? I checked all my products on Amazon and revamped them this week. Fixed a glitch or two. Published all nine items. Then I revamped the blurb, based on tips I picked up from the internet. Sitting at home, trawling the internet for clues, I gained information and put it to use…
   So then I published all nine products again. The changes were small. What did I gain? Instant internet access when I really needed it – not when I wanted it. A writer's office shouldn't have a place for the internet. The internet is a vast electronic library housed in my paper library.
   That's where the creature stays. For those of you reading this on the go – people who write on the go – go without the internet. I did, for years. And I learned loads about writing – the hard way. This new temptation of the constant distraction is no temptation for me. I'm trying my best to use the internet, rather than letting the internet use me.
   It's strange, in that familiar way, to be writing in the office again. I'm back, though I was never really away. Anything else? Hell, yes. I can blog this any old time. In quiet surrounds. There are no noisemakers competing for attention.

Update. Naturally, I must return to the internet to post this blog. What do I find when I arrive? A digital newspaper featured my blog post on using HTML code. The online editor of the non-paper paper is Sean Woodward. That's @seanwoodward on the Twitter.

   Here's a link to his website. http://www.seanwoodward.com/loa/
   And here's a link to his newspaper. THE LONDON-PARIS-CYDONIA CHRONICLE.
   Now I'll post this blog, and give him a mention on the Twitter. Minimal time spent on the internet for some indefinable level of effort. Hm. I can see the T-shirt now.

USING HTML CODE ON YOUR AMAZON PRODUCT DESCRIPTION.

The thing I hated about creating book blurb for Amazon? I'd use a combination of an excerpt from the book and a commentary about the story. Fine. Except that the slice of fiction lost italics.
   How to fix that problem?
   Encode the book description with HTML.
   Hugely Tiresome Muddling Laborious code.
   I've just been experimenting with the code, altering my Amazon Kindle blurb.
   Here's a link to the official Amazon page. OFFICIAL. That page shows the HTML code acceptable in a book's content, but there's a sub-heading for code you can use in the blurb. BLURB.
   There's not a lot of code available. When I say that, I'm talking about official code. Supported code. Code the Amazon publishing factory will permit you to use.
   Even the Amazon publishing factory doesn't like the code that is supported. I'll return to that.
   So how do I use the HTML code to change the look of my Amazon blurb?
   I want to make the title VAMPIRES. appear in bold italic type. And it looks that way in the Word document. Cut and paste that text into Amazon's publishing factory, and the effects are stripped away.
   Those effects must be reintroduced using HTML code. Find the code for the effect you wish to use. Type it where you want that effect to start.
   There is an off-switch for that code - add a slash to the code when you are finished. Example...
   VAMPIRES.
   The code for bold text is <b> and the off-switch is </b>, so I'd set this up...
   <b>VAMPIRES.</b>
   That's it. Once you've arranged this fiddly piece of work, Amazon will raise an objection. Here's an example...

   You'll see I've used codes for bold, italic, and a line separating sections of text. I don't recall adding a slash inside the <hr> code for a line. But there it is.
   The red text is a warning you can ignore, provided you are using basic things like commands for bold.
   Note the number of characters left. Usually, I'd write a short blurb for Amazon products. Occasionally, I'd go into more detail.  HTML coding counts against the number of characters.
   Remedy? Make it fit. Edit the text. You are in the writing game, after all.
   If you go surfing the web on a spider's surfboard, and pick up other HTML coding that's not supported by Amazon, you'll risk receiving the second red warning.
   The first one is okay. Ignore it. Save your publication page. The second warning kills your work off - and Amazon refuses to save changes made.
   If that happens, resort to trial and error message. Keep chipping away at the nasty code until Amazon accepts the saved changes.
   Then publish. Wait for the product to cycle through Amazon's system. The updated blurb will appear long before Amazon e-mails you to say the book is ready.
   Get it wrong? Wait for the book to become available on your publishing bookshelf, and make changes. That's the most annoying thing - the cycle-time if you have to fix errors.
   I had nine products available on Amazon when I decided to upgrade my book descriptions. The first one was HTML-encoded the night before, so I could sleep on it and see the effects come morning. Then I switched to production.
   Here's the before/after look to the blurb for WEREWOLVES. I didn't go over the top with dancing figures and spotlights. At that reduced size, you can still see the differences. Which is my point...

 

    In publishing for Amazon, we often live in a thumbnail world. View everything at reduced size, to see if you can see differences.
   Click on the cover below to see the updated blurb for WEREWOLVES.

GUEST RANT BY KACEY VANDERKARR. (ORIGINAL POST FROM THE 6th OF JUNE 2011.)

The blog takes a turn into the guest spot, as I consider my follow-up to blogging about the unbloggable.

Editing: The Process.

Recently I’ve been editing my first manuscript and have discovered that it’s truly a PROCESS! It’s sort of like withdrawal from a really addictive drug. Here you have your manuscript, something you’ve spent hours, days, weeks, months (and maybe even years) methodically tapping out on your computer. You’ve missed sleep, you’ve skipped family gatherings, you’ve called in sick to work. Your characters have consumed your free time, your friends all know them by name and consider them real people, you dream about them.

   You eat, sleep, breathe your story.

   Finally, the day you’ve been waiting for arrives! Sighing to yourself at your accomplishment, you type those final words onto the screen. Grinning, you watch the cursor blink on and off. You imagine it’s clapping for you. You blink yourself back to reality and look around your house, realizing that you’ve neglected a few things. Your husband no longer wears underwear, the lawn is a jungle and your child is eating out of the cat dish.

   Still grinning, you turn back to the manuscript. The cursor is still clapping for you.

   You open a new tab. You go to Google.

   You type: Publish my manuscript.

   You peruse the results and manage to stumble across a website designed for idiots who think they know about getting published. You stalk the forums, you post what you think a query is. You get your words shredded and handed back to you in a doggie bag. You realize 125,000 words doesn’t fit into your genre.

   You cry.

   You open your manuscript again. Now the cursor isn’t clapping! It’s mocking you!! “Ha! Hahaha...” it says.

   You curse and scream. You beg and plead for exceptions. You go back to the forums and search for them.

   You find none.

   Sighing to yourself, you address your manuscript. It’s a twelve-step process, this editing thing. There are few exceptions, you realize, and luck isn’t on your side.

Step 1: Elation.

Congratulations, if you went through the above story, you’ve already been here! You wrote a story-book-novel-manuscript-thingie. Woohoo!! I’m SO happy for you.

Step 2: The Search for Knowledge.

Chances are, you’ve been here too. Good ol’ Google. It’ll tell you anything you want to know.

Step 3: Fear.

I have to do what?!?! I have to cut how much? What do you mean agents don’t like dreams? What?? But I like first person!

Step 4: Denial.

This is where the frantic search begins. But Stephenie Meyer’s novel was longer than 100,000 words. I can be the next Stephenie Meyer!!!

Step 5: Passion.

You get down to work. You reread your manuscript. You fall in love with your characters all over again. You determine that you MUST sell their story to the world. Yes!! Yes! Yes! It will happen.

Step 6: Unceremonious Hacking.

Back-story? Gone. Extra character? Cut. Chapter 14? Nixed. You hack entire sections at a time. You cut out parts you used to love. You cry every time you hit the delete key. You go through seventy-two boxes of Kleenex.

Step 7: Cautious Cutting.

You’ve already completed Step 6, Unceremonious Hacking. Finally, you think, I’ve cut my story down to bare bones. I’ve sliced and diced it to within an inch of its life. You open the tools, you click “Word Count.” You squeeze your eyes shut, afraid of the number. Despite yourself, you finally open one eye and peek. Startled, the other one flies open. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’VE ONLY CUT 10,000 WORDS!!!

   Once again, you stare at the damn cursor. It blinks, mocking your very existence.

   You go back through your manuscript. You combine words into contractions. You debate removing every “the.” You buy stock in Kleenex.

   Slowly, the word count diminishes. You breathe a sigh of relief when it reaches the 100,000 word mark. Ah, finally.

Step 8: More Research.

By now, your manuscript has reached your genre’s word limit. You feel pretty good about yourself. You do a little more research about editing. You find tips and techniques (wish you would’ve known about those before, huh?) Once again the manuscript opens.

Step 9: Agonizing Alterations.

The cursor blinks at you. You debate throwing your computer out the car window going 105 mph. You curse the cursor, and its mother, and its illegitimate brother Bob.

   You take up biking to get out your anger. You lose ten pounds.

   You go over your manuscript with a fine-tooth comb. You do a line-by-line edit. You read every word and wonder if it could be better. You wear through the pages of a Thesaurus. You debate deleting the entire thing and starting over. You wonder why the hell you ever thought it was a good idea to write a book in the first place.

   You get through it.

Step 10: The Beta.

Finally, with your manuscript sparkling like a new penny, you find a critique partner. With fluttering heart and sweaty palms, you hit “send” on the email, rushing your manuscript straight to them. You wait three days for them to respond. The email starts with You have no plot.

Step 11: Binge Drinking.

You drown yourself in alcohol and swear if you ever, ever, see your manuscript again, you will kill something. You swear off electronics. You stop shaving. You reach the lowest low of your life. You debate a career in rocket science. Anything but writing.

   For two weeks, you ignore your manuscript. You try to forget that horrid little mocking line, you banish all thoughts that relate to writing, publishing, agents, books, and words. You banish words. You refuse to speak.

Step 12: The Revival.

Someone, probably your mother (because she loves you), breaks you out of your funk by telling you that you stink. You shower. While lathering, a really awesome plot idea works its way into your brain. You try to force it out, but it’s insistent. It wiggles and squirms and dances. It pounds against your skull. It prods you with a rusty poker.

   You open your computer.

   You open a blank page.

   You start to type.

   You begin a CIP: Cheating in Progress. You write to your heart’s content. These characters are so much better! They’ll never let me down! You write for twenty days straight before you accidentally open your “old” manuscript. You read a scene, and then two.

   Before you know it, you’ve devoured a hundred pages and wasted an hour. The cursor waves. Hello my friend! Grinning, you start over at Step 1.

Would anyone like to venture a guess as to what step I’m on? I’m in there somewhere!! First off, I didn’t write this to be discouraging. Not all Beta partners are terrible, in fact, most of them are fabulous (and FREE!) Use them shamelessly! And don’t binge drink. It’s bad for you ;)

   Secondly, if you are looking for help on getting published, writing a query letter (finding out what a query letter is), or finding a critique partner, please go here: Agent Query Connect. There is a lot of good information there, and the people are SO helpful.

Here are some links that were featured in a recent chat on editing that I found exceptionally useful:

http://victoriamixon.com/

http://hollylisle.com/index.php/Workshops/one-pass-manuscript-revision-from-first-draft-to-last-in-one-cycle.html

http://www.blogger.com/goog_148642308

http://blog.janicehardy.com/2008/01/tips-and-tricks.html

My last bit of advice? NEVER QUIT WRITING!! If you’re frustrated with editing, open your manuscript and read it purely for enjoyment. You will find your love for it again.

It’s a cut-throat world for us writers, and we gotta stick together!

All the best,

Kacey.

© Kacey Vanderkarr, 2011, 2012.

AN AUTHOR RESPONDS.

I’ve slyly edited Kacey’s original blog post for consistency. Other than that, I left pretty much well-alone. Heavy editing would have swamped her authorial voice – and there’s no need for that in this day and age. Her authorial voice is fine. My blog posts carry a minimum rating of 1,500 words. Kacey’s original post is a touch shy of the bar on that score, so I’ll add this gratuitous padding some words of wisdom.

   What to add? Her method of writing is not your method or my method. I live in a hole in the ground, trapdoor spider that I am, with a heavy lid keeping out other voices. Occasionally I’ll dash from that hole and snatch an influence. Take it back to my lair, dissolve its innards, devour the juices, and cast the husk onto the desolate sun-bleached land. Evil? The writer has to eat.

   I live far from the world of Beta readers and critique partners. Write the book. Edit the book. Publish the book. Self-imposed, The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Writer generates my fiction. I may be forced to deal with my inadequacies as a typist in the editing stage. However, I don’t alter the plot once the book is done.

   Contact with authorial colleagues is important. Kacey Vanderkarr and her writing buddy Missy Biozarre never altered a plot of mine. Though they did alter my publishing and blogging plans – yes, for the better. Writers are not rivals. We’re colleagues. The digital office door is rarely shut. When another author pops a head/eyeball/tentacle/chainsaw around the door, stuff happens. Be surprised and delighted by that, and you’ll be in this game for the long-haul.

   Kacey brought up two excellent points. Never quit writing. Read your manuscript for pure enjoyment. If you don’t like what you are reading, how will your readers feel? Kacey also brought up a really excellent point. Never quit writing. There was another even more excellent point to which she drew attention. Never quit writing. I was going to say never get involved in a land-war in Asia, but now I’m veering off to The New Yorker, an editor’s son, and a story about a Princess who happened to be a bride…

© RLL, 2012.

NEXT BLOG: THE VANDERKARR MEMORANDUM.