Monday, 12 August 2013


Of all the things he expected to find inside the woman’s cupboard, this was the one thing so far off Johnny’s list that he thought he’d wandered into another house by mistake. Obviously, the next turn of events had to be even stranger than the last turn of events. Unless the next strange turn of events was a return to normality. That made perfect sense to Johnny.
   The only thing stranger than another strange turn of events would be a normal turn of events so normal that it would have to be classed as strange. He knew one thing. The town was well-named. Turning in response to the sound of voices, Johnny wondered how he’d explain his naked intrusion of the bedroom. The cute teddy covering his nether regions was no help at all.
   By night, Dick and Marnie are investigators of super-secret occult-based extra-terrestrial governmental cover-ups and conspiracies. During daylight hours, Dick sells gerbils to people who feel the need for pets. No one actually knows what Marnie does for a living.
   After years of hovering on the edge of uncovering THE ULTIMATE CONSPIRACY, Dick discovers that THE ULTIMATE CONSPIRACY has come looking for him. The consequences are far from cosy, and will lead Dick and Marnie to the strange town of LYGHTNYNG STRYKES. A town that’s about to turn ten degrees stranger.
   Join Dick, Marnie, Stealth Writer, the Man in Black, other Men in Black not related to the first Man in Black, Plausible Daniel, and a peculiar bunch of swans, in the search for the secret secret behind the real secret that isn’t the real secret.

296,000 words. Contains adult themes and blushworthy elements designed to frighten the horses. On hearing that there was a prize for writing bad sex scenes in fiction, I thought how hard can it be to win that? Though deliberately setting out to write such material may automatically disqualify me from the process…

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