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Sunday 23 February 2014

A SHOCKING GLIMPSE OF ANKLE. KACEY VANDERKARR IS TO BLAME: A REPORT FROM A FUGITIVE.

SENSITIVE READERS, LOOK AWAY NOW.

SHIELD YOUR EYES. SHOCKING GLIMPSE OF ANKLE ALERT.


Reflection Pond.

 
 
The release date for Reflection Pond is drawing closer and closer. See that image up there? That's a teaser from the ACTUAL COVER, which will reveal March 1st. Today, I have an excerpt from the first chapter. Please note, this chapter is from an uncorrected galley proof of Reflection Pond.

Chapter One.

His hand slid under Callie’s shirt; branded skin, slipped into places she tried to keep hidden.
            “No,” she said, shoving his fingers away. “No.”
            Nate froze and made a disgusted sound. “Callie…”
            She tugged her shirt down.
He sighed. “This has to stop. Do you expect me to wait forever?”
            Callie climbed off of the bed and curled her trembling hands into fists. She hated the wash of his breath on her neck, the smell of his skin, soap and cheap cologne. She’d never loved him, only hoped that if she tried hard enough, she’d miraculously transform into a puzzle that still had all its pieces. Fake it until you make it, she thought bitterly.
            “Callie…” He stood now, came two steps closer as she shrank away. “We can work this out.”
            Behind Nate, the bed lay disheveled and made a mockery of her inadequacy. She added to the list of things she hated—the ten by eight foot space of Nate’s room, the bed, the way he said her name, his refusal to give up.
            “I said I can’t, Nate.” His name slid between clenched teeth. Callie backed up further, until the cold roundness of the doorknob pressed into her back. Her heartbeat thundered everywhere, chest, fingertips, and scalp.
            Nate scraped his hands through unruly curls. He was attractive enough, she supposed, muscular from playing football. But he was right; she couldn’t expect him to wait forever, just as he couldn’t expect her to ever be ready.
            The hard ball of the doorknob filled her hand. She bolted, leaving Nate standing dumbfounded, surrounded by the dirty clothes that lined his floor and the sparkling football trophies on his shelves.
            She didn’t stop to see if he was chasing her. It didn’t matter if he was, because every part of her body screamed to run faster. Out the front door, across the patchy lawn, past her foster home next-door where the screen gaped open and the shutters hung crooked.
            Callie pushed harder, wondering if she could run fast enough to dissipate like smoke, to un-become.
            She couldn’t go home—if she could call it home—where the stench of her foster mother’s cancer seeped into the walls, where she was expected to play parent to the younger foster kids. She couldn’t return to Nate—not ever—not with the humiliation clawing at her chest. Callie knew she’d never be ready. Not in a week, a month…a year.
            Never.
            The thought of Nate’s skin on hers made Callie gag as she steered her legs toward the park. She gasped for air around the bile burning her throat. She knew she looked crazy, but couldn’t bring herself to care. She blew past the old man walking his dog and the girl drawing a hopscotch board on broken concrete. It was as though seventeen years of needing to escape had finally caught up with her.
            The sun shone bright, but to Callie, it was shadows.
            Struggling trees surrounding a mucky pond came into view—the park. She registered the change from hard, unforgiving sidewalk to scratchy, dry grass, and didn’t slow. She ran around empty benches where bums slept at night, under the swing set, clattering the chains that dangled without seats. She ran with a singular vision—freedom.
            Callie didn’t see the motorbike or hear the shouts that intruded upon the desolate wasteland of her life. She didn’t see the man as he fell from his two-wheeled machine of destruction or the look of horror on his face. She saw the sky, impossibly blue, as she flew into the air. Callie saw the dank, clouded surface of the reflection pond, too dirty to have ever served as a mirror, and she saw her life—a short, inconsequential blip on the grand map of existence.
            And then, she broke the surface.
            The blue sky smudged gray like a painting and the splash echoed in her ears, muffled by the suffocating sound of being underwater. The reflection pond felt wrong—warm, silky, like the lining of a winter coat—and it made her remember.
She opened her mouth to scream, tasting imaginary, pink bubbles, but nothing happened. No stagnant pond water rushed into her throat.
            She didn’t drown. She didn’t even choke.
            Callie fell through the water and hit a solid, freezing cold floor with the force of a two-story drop. Her lungs paralyzed from the impact and she rolled onto her back, eyes widening. Above her, floating as though suspended by magic, was the pond. She could make out the bottom, clogged with weeds. Sand swirled around the spot she’d fallen through, hitting an invisible barrier and bouncing back. Humid, floral scented air rushed into her lungs and she sat up, surprised to find her clothes and hair dry.
            Heart hammering, she dragged herself to her feet and rubbed the sore spots on her elbows. The fear of suffocation faded, replaced with curiosity and the unmistakable relief of escaping Nate.
            Pale light filtered through the pond and cast dancing beams onto the walls. The only other illumination came from small rocks that lined the floor. There was a word for that in the back of her mind—bioluminescent. Dark stone walls dripped with humidity. In the distance, water gurgled. Bright flowers in blues, purples, and pinks hung from vines, their heavy heads as large as dinner plates, bowed to the ground.
            It was like something from a painting, too beautiful to be real.
            “We have stairs you know,” a male voice said.
            Callie whirled to find two guys.
            They were as alike as they were different, around her age or a little older. They held an identical posture as they stood staring at her, arms crossed over their chests, legs wide, feet bare and dirty. There was a lightness about them and Callie imagined they could move very fast if they wanted. The taller one had wavy, jet black hair that hung to his shoulders, and intense, light blue eyes. His lips twisted into a smirk. The second boy was shorter than the first, very pale, with green eyes and ginger hair that bordered on strawberry blond. His features were small and fine, pretty for a boy; and he smiled, amused.
            “What message have you brought us?” the dark-haired boy asked, smirk turning into a grimace.
            Callie stared, wondering if she’d hit her head and this was just a wacky, concussion-induced vision. The boy’s eyes narrowed. She looked up; the pond was still there, swirling with absolute benevolence. She searched for an exit. Stone walls. Stone floor. The pond. The three of them with no doors. A new fear fizzled in her stomach.
            “I don’t—” she started, voice breathy and uncertain. Her gaze returned to the pond. “How?”
            The dark haired boy snorted, drawing her gaze. “This is the antechamber; you know your charms are stripped here.”
            “Don’t be rude,” the redhead spoke up. He took a step forward, holding his forearm out. “I’m Ash,” he nodded his head towards the other boy, “This is Rowan.”
            “How—did I just…how did I get here?” Despite falling through the pond, Callie’s mouth was dry. She stared at his offered arm, confused. Where did he intend to escort her? “Did you fall through too? Are we trapped?”
            The dark-haired one, Rowan, took a step closer, a curious expression on his face. “She doesn’t know,” he said, fascinated, glancing at Ash. “She has no idea.”
            Ash looked between Rowan and Callie, his face a question mark. “That’s not possible.”
            “It is,” Rowan insisted. He pushed the ends of Callie’s sweaty hair off of her chest and she was too frozen with terror to stop him. “Look,” he pointed to her pale skin, “She doesn’t have an imprint.”
            Rowan glowered furiously at Callie, as though she had any idea what he meant. She glanced down at the purple tank top she wore. Loose strands of hair clung to her skin. She backed away, gasping when her shoulders hit the warm foliage that covered the walls. “What is going on?” She gestured to the ceiling. “I just fell through…” Callie cleared her throat, voice hoarse and high with borderline hysteria. “I just fell through the pond.” She shook her arms. “I’m not even wet.” When Ash didn’t answer, she turned to Rowan. “Please. What’s going on?”
            Ash glanced at Rowan, incredulous, ignoring Callie. “You don’t have an imprint yet.”
            Rowan’s dark eyebrows lowered. “Like I could forget. So nice of you to remind me.” He shook his head and jabbed his finger at Callie again. “Look at her, Ash. She could be related to Sapphire’s line. Look at her eyes.” He took another step closer, which she reciprocated by pressing her spine into the wall.
            “I think you’re freaking her out,” Ash said.
            Callie lifted her chin in a last-ditch effort not to cry. She was trapped. Her hands curled into stubborn fists. “How did I fall through there?” Something moved in the pond now, something big and solid, wearing a red t-shirt—the guy who’d caused her to plunge into the water.
            “Hey!” She waved her arms and followed him from one end of the pond to the other on shaky legs. “I’m right here. Hey!” Panic bubbled in Callie’s chest as she watched his head whip from side to side, looking for her.
            “Hey!” Rowan said, raising his voice to match hers.
            “I’m here.” She flailed her arms around some more. The guy kicked his feet, traveling from one end of the small pond to the other. Tears leaked onto Callie’s cheeks. She wiped them away. “Why can’t you hear me?”
            “Knock that off.” Rowan batted her arms down. “He’s not gonna answer. What’s your name, anyway?”
            “Rowan!” Ash admonished.
            They’d cornered her against a wall, and stood before her, expressions perplexed. She’d have to get through both of them if she wanted to run. If she could evade them in a room with no doors. Think, she ordered herself.
            “It’s Cal—” she started to answer, searching over their shoulders for a way out. The panic in her chest was rising, an ocean constricted to a jar. She would burst under the pressure.
            Ash covered her mouth with his hand. “Shh!”
            She tried to bite his palm. His hand tasted sweet, floral.
            Ash pulled away and grinned. “You don’t need to tell us your name,” he said, wiping the hand on his pants. “You can’t just ask people that, Row. You know better.”
            “She’s not really one of us,” Rowan said.
            “She came through the ward. She is.
            “I am what?” Callie asked, realizing the only way out was to be the way she came in—the pond. But how was she supposed to get herself back up through it? Even if she jumped, her fingertips would be several feet away from the water. It would have to work. Maybe she could climb on one of their shoulders. She eyed the taller one.
            “Maybe we should take her to Hazel. She’ll know what to do,” Rowan said.
            “That’s probably a good idea,” Ash hesitated, “but…”
            “But what?” Irritation tinged Rowan’s words.  “You want to keep her trapped here as a plaything?”
            “No. You’re right.” Ash held out his arm again. “Come along then.”
            Callie didn’t move. Did he think she would go with them without a fight? Above her, the guy had climbed out of the pond. He’d probably already given up on finding her. What would they tell her foster family? She fell into the pond and just disappeared. I swear.
            Typical.
            “Clearly there’s been some kind of misunderstanding,” Callie said, forcing her voice to remain reasonable. “I just need to get back up there and we can forget this ever happened.” She nodded. She’d read somewhere that nodding helped convince people to agree with you.
            Rowan cleared his throat. “You can come on your own, or we can force you. I’m trained in torture techniques that make ax murderers cringe.”
“You don’t have to be dramatic,” Ash said. He pushed his arm closer to Callie, insistent, it nearly touched her nose. “Once Hazel sees you, we can figure out what you’re doing here and get you on your way.” He waited. “Come on. Don’t be rude.”
            Callie didn’t get it and she didn’t like it—she’d somehow fallen through water and remained dry. These two guys were weird. She especially didn’t like that the guy had left her for dead in the pond.
            Ass.
            She lifted her arms to shove the guys away and make a run for it—to where, she didn’t know—but Rowan caught her wrists.
            “Don’t bother. Ash—get the rope.”
Callie couldn’t tell if he was joking. Fear stabbed at her throat.
            “For the love, Row. Shut up.” Ash tried to pry Rowan’s hands off, but he held tight.
            “Let me go.” Callie jabbed her elbow at his face and missed by a lot. Being a foster for most of her life had given her street smarts, but Callie didn’t know the first thing about fighting, unless she counted evading Nate’s advances, which she didn’t. Callie didn’t count on Nate for much. Rowan’s fingers tightened on the soft inside of her wrist and she flinched, not because it hurt, but because it tingled, as if it’d fallen asleep.
            “Be nice,” Ash said, knocking Rowan’s hand away. “It’s okay.” He smiled and presented his arm again like a father waiting to accompany his daughter down the aisle.
            The gesture made Callie slightly nauseous. She rubbed her wrist. Her fear gave way to annoyance. Maybe this Hazel person could get her back…up? She had to get out of this room. If there was one thing Callie couldn’t stand, it was being trapped, caged in like an animal, held down. She needed doors. She needed windows. She needed a sky above her.
            "And I can’t leave until I meet Hazel?” she asked. Her instincts said to humor them until she could escape.
            “You can’t leave,” Rowan said. “Ever.” A slow, irritating smile spread across his mouth.
            “If you don’t shut up, I’m going to set you on fire,” Ash said, but he was smiling at the other boy. Maybe here, under the pond, setting people on fire was a normal thing to do.
            “Hazel will help you,” Ash said to Callie. “Besides, it’s not like we can just throw you up through the pond.” He made a dismissive gesture as if it was a ridiculous notion.
            “You can leave if you die,” Rowan said thoughtfully.
            “Fire,” Ash reminded.
            Rowan made a gesture that said lead the way.
            “Fine,” Callie conceded, looping her arm through Ash’s, cringing once again at the strange sensation she got when they touched her. “Take me to Hazel.” Get me out of this room.
            Ash beamed and pulled her toward the wall. Rowan trailed behind, muttering something about the “idiocy of mere mortals.”
            “Wait,” she said as Ash tried to drag her into the stone, “That’s a rock wall.” The room had no exits, no doors, not even a hole large enough to crawl through.
            Rowan snickered. “Well, of course it is.” He gave her a hard shove and she shut her eyes as her face careened toward the stone, knowing that she’d made a terrible mistake.

***
            Rowan watched the girl disappear and tried to ignore the tightness in his chest.
            It wasn’t because she was pretty—of course she was, beauty was a given in Eirensae. Sometimes he longed for the diversity of the human world, where no one was glamoured to perfection. He wanted scars to map out a history that actually meant something. Flawlessness turned his stomach.
            The humid, overheated air shifted as he stepped through the portal and into the common space of the tunnels, turning cooler, though the suffocating scent of flowers remained. He supposed he should enjoy the scent, associate it with home, but home was an elusive word.
            The city was beautiful. Rowan had never gotten used to it. He’d thought that over time the magnificence would grow on him and one day he’d wake up and think, Oh, I fit here.
In a couple months, it’d be two years since he’d crossed the portal into the city, and it still felt just as foreign as the first day. Besides, beauty was fragile. Take the blooms that dripped from every surface here, easily plucked. Rowan was fire and Eirensae was a flower. No good could come of that combination.
            The girl’s arched mouth fell into a gasp as she looked up at the glamoured ceiling. A blond cascade of hair skimmed over her shoulders as she leaned farther backwards, trying to take it all in.
Rowan didn’t believe a single word that came out of her mouth. He couldn’t lie, but he didn’t think she was like him. It didn’t matter if she looked like Sapphire. Lots of girls had blond hair and blue eyes. Lots of girls were beautiful. It didn’t mean she belonged here. No one fell through the pond by accident.
           Tearing his gaze from the curve of her throat, Rowan tried to scrape away the cynicism and see the room through new eyes. The walls were similar to those in the antechamber, made of solid, knobby gray rock. Deep green vines snaked across them, weaving in and out of each other, sometimes creating great leaves as long as his legs. Flowers of every shape and color dripped in a kaleidoscope, their petals huge, each color brighter and more impossible than the last. Rowan curled his toes against the cool, compressed dirt floor and glanced up.
            Millions of stars dotted what should’ve been a stone ceiling. It was vast and velvet, the sky over an ocean, away from lights and people, and as magical as it was fake. The glamour was lovely, but not as impressive to those who knew its true form. Rowan focused on the sky until it dissolved into the rock ceiling underneath. The presence of the ordinary stone satisfied him for some reason and he let the glamoured night sky slide back into place.
            Ash tugged on the girl’s arm.
            “That’s impossible,” she murmured transfixed, eyes wide.
            A cluster of shooting stars flashed across the darkness, brightening the room for a few seconds. They fizzled on the opposite end, just above the tunnel that lead to the library, Rowan’s favorite place in Eirensae. Even now—especially now—Rowan longed to hide in the books, devour the information, immerse himself in the one thing that had never let him down.
            “Stop showing off,” he said, fighting the urge to scowl at Ash. He pushed around them and entered the far passageway that led to Hazel’s hideaway, anxious to get rid of the girl and spend the afternoon with his quarterstaff, beating the hell out of something.
            “You’ll soon learn that nothing is impossible here,” Ash said, voice skipping through the tunnels.
            Rowan quickened his steps, not caring whether they followed or not.


*

That excerpt was handed in by minions of supervillainess Kacey Vanderkarr. There'll be more supervillainy on that forthcoming release, after she kills the sub-contractors who failed to install a Jacuzzi inside her Top Secret Volcano Base.
   I had the same trouble - but with a microwave oven.

VANITY PUBLISHING AND SUBSIDY PUBLISHING. THE VENUS FLYTRAP MODEL: A REPORT FROM A FUGITIVE.

No disrespect to the Venus Flytrap.
   Technically, the carnivorous plant is pretty much an ant-trap. Creepies and crawlies wander across the plant’s surface…
   There’s a hair-trigger. The plant doesn’t want to waste time and energy trapping and releasing pebbles or twigs that blunder by. So there are other triggers.
   It takes two trips within a twenty-second period to drop a hint that a creature has wandered over the trap. Snap! The prison walls close and a creature is caged.
   Creatures find it almost impossible to break through the bars of the cage or force the prison walls open again. Harsh? We farm cattle.

*

The Venus Flytrap is American. And the term vanity press seems to have originated in America. Vanity publisher is a variant. And vanity publishing is the resultant insult derived from the business.
   I’ll also call it subsidy publishing here, for that is yet another important term.
   How to publish a book? Let me count the ways.
   First, go to YouTube and search for Paperback Writer. Listen to that song. I’ll wait.

*

You want to be a paperback writer. So you try famous publishers. They don’t want to know. And they don’t go out of the way to court your business. Important point.
   But wait a bit! You spy publishing companies that ask, in adverts, if you want to be published. They tell you to publish.
   Are you an author? Publish with us!
   Fantastic.
   Bear in mind that advertising ALWAYS lends an air of legitimacy to proceedings. That’s a Top Tip™.

*

The sarcasm filter’s intermittent performance may affect your enjoyment of this blog post.
   A vanity press preys on ants. Lots and lots of ants. They blunder in and are consumed. There’s no way out. A vanity press gains from consuming this regular trickle of ants. The ants give up everything.
   Those ants are small. When eaten in vast quantities, they provide enough sustenance for, oh, the Venus Flytrap. Or a subsidy publishing company.

*

How to publish a book? Let me count the ways.
   Publishing Model 1. Traditional conventional publisher. You manage to sign a deal with this behemoth. The book will see publication. In hardback first, most likely. Paperback to follow.
   You don’t pay to publish that book. The publisher pays production costs. And the publisher edits the book. You’ll have little say in the cover. That’s the publisher’s business, and the publisher pays for the art or photography.
   The publisher may front you money out of the eventual proceeds. That’s an advance on royalties. The publisher palms a cut of the take. Everything I’ve listed in this publishing model is grossly oversimplified.
   For example, the massive advance shamelessly announced in the media never matches reality. The advance is sliced into chunks, paid out when certain conditions are met. Signing the deal. Turning in a manuscript to the publisher’s satisfaction. Publication of hardback. Later publication of paperback.
   But this is a blog post, not a book. Simplification will do.
   The standard publishing deal involves giving a large slice of the book’s profits to the publisher in return for all the work the publisher says the publisher does.
   Sarcasm filter is working just fine.
   No money goes directly from the author’s pocket to the publisher’s bank. There will be many clauses in the contract relating to who does what, when. Getting into a contract takes a signature.
   The business of getting out of the contract should be written into the contract.

*

Publishing Model 2. Self-publishing. So many options here. The one I use is digital. Kindle. I write my stories and publish electronically through Amazon.
   Go to Amazon Kindle Store. Type RLL.
   Amazon hosts my bookshelf. And Amazon takes a cut of the proceeds. I don’t give Amazon any cash directly from my pocket. That’s an important point.
   This is a blog post, not a book. We’re here to talk about the other model…

*

And Publishing Model 3. The utter bastards.
   Publish with us! And pay us! Never escape from your contract! We do so much for you. That’s why we’re too busy to respond to your entreaties.
   In the dusty dim and distant days, when I chased paper publishing deals, I was all-too-aware of the vanity press. Yes, I knew the danger back in my schooldays.
   I recall a conversation with a young woman who said to me…
   You can pay to have your work published.
   (Fucking hell. Did everyone know I was headed for the writing game?! She was a year younger, and that put her in a different universe within the same school. But somehow, she knew a writer at fifty paces.)
   I said nothing in reply. Mentally, though, I had this floating around…
   You can pay to have your work published, but why would you?
   Out comes the derogatory publishing term. Vanity.

*

The vanity/subsidy publisher signs a deal to publish books that you must pay for. Your target audience? That’s you, immediate family, and friends. If you are lucky, friends of family, and friends of friends.
   And that’s all. The end. Your subsidy company sets the price of the book. That price is massive. As author, you probably receive a discount on any copies you want for yourself. The first few copies, anyway.
   What does the company do for you after that? Everything – at a price. For a further fee, the company will actually edit your work. A book published by a vanity/subsidy outfit is easy to spot…
   High price. Zero editing. Disclaimer at the start, stating that the publisher allowed the author to publish the work without editorial interference.
   Public-spirited.
   No, it’s one of those WHAT THE FUCK?! moments. That disclaimer is an odious piece of legal claptrap. It pours scorn on all, and splashes more back on the pourer.
   Backstage, the contract cuts deep. To escape the contract you’ll have to carry a gold ring to a volcano, and throw it in.
   You’ll have an in-box. That in-box will flow with entreaties from your publishing company, offering special deals on bonus features for your book. All at a price. Horses die under the flogging dished out by the subsidy publisher.
   I could go on, and I should. So I think I will. You want out of the contract? Hell, that can be arranged. At a price. There’ll be a shakedown for cash as you squeeze out the door. To be released from the contract, as a favour to you, there’ll be special production costs the company must reclaim in order to stay solvent.
   A diet of ants.

*

You are caught in the cage of the contract, and you’ll be slowly digested. The carnivorous publisher squeezes every last drop out of you. For you are valuable to the subsidy publisher. You are subsidising the publisher.
   They’ll sell your e-book on Amazon. And they’ll flog the anatomical distortion that is the bloated cost of the physical page-turning version. It’s on Amazon too. As a Print on Demand production. If someone orders a copy, it’s printed. So the company shouldn’t be charging you a shakedown exit-fee for production costs it must recoup.
   Do you want out of that flytrap or not?

*

I could go on, concerning specified sales-targets. By that, I mean the chicanery of Find-the-Lady proportions exhibited by the company in ensuring you don’t find that prize. They set the terms, and shift the field on a whim.
   Playing basketball on a football field is tough. Tougher when you thought you were on a basketball court for the duration of the game. Half a minute in, and the world blurs.
   Dealing with a subsidy press, money bleeds from your pocket. Every struggle is uphill. Still feel like playing basketball, knowing that?
   I was not bitten, and I am not even once-shy. This is a point of publishing I knew in my schooldays. And I mocked it then. Away with sepia-toned reminiscence. You want to know about now. Now, these utter bastards are on the internet…
   They have been for some time, and they are not going away. Curiously, the utter bastards have their supporters. I say that as I suspect their supporters of being phantoms. Let’s reel out Mark Twain. Supporters of subsidy publishing often do just that, with a fishing-rod. It’s a cheap trick to drag a spinning man from his grave.
   Twain is often cited as an example of a writer who paid to have his work published. Twain was this wonderful self-publishing bankrupt. Sarcasm filter held its head high until that last word.

*

This isn’t a detailed feature on why you shouldn’t sign with a subsidy publisher. One isn’t required. Don’t sign with a subsidy publisher. I’ll rephrase. Don’t sign with a vanity publisher. Not quite there. Don’t sign with a vanity press.
   If you have done so, get out of your contract. Read copyright law. Talk things over with an Intellectual Property lawyer. If a shakedown for cash is the only way out, pay the bitter price of experience and reclaim work you can publish yourself.
   Format the work for digital distribution. Look into Print on Demand publishing. Ask yourself what services are worth paying for. A subsidy publisher will charge cash for editing. What’s the difference, in going to a freelance editor? You still own the work after paying a freelance editor. There’s no flytrap.
   I’ve hit 1,500 words and barely scratched the surface. Run a search on vanity press, vanity publishing, and subsidy publishing. Look for publishing scams. I won’t name subsidy publishers here. They don’t deserve the publicity. Google the terms I’ve mentioned, and they’ll come up anyway. Then you’ll know what to steer clear of.
   Check out THE SOCIETY OF AUTHORS.
   Have a look at WRITER BEWARE.
   And beware.

Sunday 16 February 2014

VERY BASIC ARCHIVING FOR AUTHORS: A REPORT FROM A FUGITIVE.

Falling foul of the machines, I plunged through netting. The barrier snapped, and I plunged again. More netting. Snap. More netting. Safety, finally.
   Believe in safety. Plan for danger.
   Let's suppose you write stories on a machine that is very clearly not a manual typewriter. A manual typewriter is a different creature. HERE'S A BLOG POST ABOUT THAT.
   You are brand-new to computers. Where's the off-switch? That new.

*

Wait. The START button is also the STOP button? That's confusing. And not at all like a light-switch.
   What is the START button? Just an icon that propels a balloon labelled START, if I hover the pointer over that wordless START button. Or NON-START button, I think.
   Surely once the machine has started, thanks to the physical clicky on-switch thingy, I don't need a virtual START button on the screen?
   Oh, only to stop the computer. Okay. And for menu access. Some other things. Like ordering pizza.
   Now there's a new version without a START button?
   The mudder ate the fodder? Bunch of cannibals.
   Doublewait. The START button isn't the same as the START screen or the START menu. Is there a STOP button, and a STOP screen, and a STOP menu?
   For the version without a START button, I can download a START button. Is that done through e-mail or Ouija Board?
   And so on.

*

I'm typing this on a machine that makes use of an operating system named Windows. Because, in the real world, that's how we gain access to stuff. Not through doors. Jim Morrison's estate would've sued.
   The Microsoft Corporation is too evil to be destroyed. Our only hope is that we send someone back in time to whisper in the ear of Bill Gates.
   Change for the sake of change, rather than change for genuine improvement, is guaranteed to piss computer users right off.
   Still waiting on that time travel patch. Then we're ready for launch. A suitable chair backed by a large spinning disc, a consignment of brass fittings, and the package is done.

*

Progress was made. I haven't seen an error message containing the word THREAD for a long long time. The BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH is pretty much a thing of the past...
   Well, I heard the latest version is pastel.
   Fatal Exception is not a thriller.

*

I am here to speak of very basic archiving. For authors. A story starts life inside your mind. Or in someone else's - you just write things down.
   Scribbled notes don't do a roaring trade on Amazon. You'll want to type this material. Load it, laboriously, into a computer. If you wish to use voice-related software and speak your story into a machine...
   ...and you are Scottish, you'll save a lot of grief by loading the story, laboriously, into a computer - by means of typing.
   Save your file. Try to have software set up so the file saves automatically every little while. Set the software so the file automatically creates a back-up copy once saved.
   Store files in folders. Make copies of folders and store those elsewhere. On another computer. And on a USB device. On an external hard drive. And on a DVD, itself stored in a fireproof safe. Save another version of the archive into cloud storage on the internet.
   Yes I've mentioned this stuff before, and recently. Ask yourself the burning question...
   If your house burns down, is the story gone?
   Not if you published - the greatest form of archiving there is.

*

But wait a bit, what prompted this blog post?
   There are other basic things worth doing. Spare files? Great. Spare cables? Essential. My external hard drive failed. No it didn't. The USB cable was dead. I had a spare connector to hand.
   This is a very specific connector. I'd have to research reality to tell you the exact phylum. ;)
   When archives appear to fail, check the wiring. Check plugs and fuses if you feel you must.
   My computer stopped dead in its tracks. In olden times, we faced whirring and clicking, the operation of gears, a few puffs of steam, and then the magic box activated.
   The other day, I switched the machine on and couldn't walk, crawl, or roll past the first stage.
   My profile failed to load.
   What?
   That's right. My card wasn't accepted at the mansion, and I was turned away. But it's MY mansion. I'd have climbed through the windows, but I couldn't use Windows at all. Irony.
   The operating system pretended to load, but went on strike. What's the profile? It's the button I click to say I'm here. A digital doorbell, granting instant access.
   In olden times, after the whirring and clicking, you'd have access. You were the computer user. Progress came along and muddied things.
   Computers could have different users, with different profiles and varying degrees of access to computer functions. Fine for an office, in a building staffed by the Hordes of Mordor.
   The boss has access to porn, while the workers have access to better porn and publishing software. You know the drill.
   Fine for an office packed with people. But utterly fucking irrelevant to an author far from the madding crowd.
   I went from being a user of a computer to a user of a computer with a profile. Instead of pressing a button to switch the machine on, I pressed a button, waited, and pressed another button to confirm launch.
   There's probably a way around this stage, but, frankly, I've lost the will to explore the option.
   Why would I need a second profile? I'm the administrator. That makes me sound as though I am a regional governor, with direct control over my territory. Fear will keep the local systems in line - fear of this, ahem, koff...
   Where was I?
   I had all these back-up archives. But I only had one profile. If I couldn't click the bloody thing to make the computer work, my computer was just a whirring lump.
   The profile material turned corrupt. Yes, this was a first for me. I'd overlooked a basic archiving point. Spare keys.
   To me, the introduction of a profile was a non-event. An extra click on the way to using the computer. But it lurked on my new machine for the better part of five months, before ambushing me.
   My old machine also has the profile clicking stage. I no longer have a computer that predates this innovation. Even the one before that had the same process going for it.
   I have to think back to the machine before that one, to see things in sepia. A man walked in front of my computer, waving a flag to warn pedestrians. No horse were harmed in the operation of that computer.

*

The profile is useless.
   I stared at this obstacle. The solution was to enter SAFE MODE. From there, I gained access to the computer. I had several repair options.
   One didn't work. I tried another. The machine came back to me. All was right with the world. In full normal mode, I immediately created a reserve profile. The computer was in full normal mode, too.
   This blog post is for people who haven't a clue about archiving. Make copies of your work. Store them in different locations. Have reserve systems in play, whether computers or cables.
   How do you activate the safe mode? Switch your computer on. Hit the F8 button on your keyboard until you see a page all about safe mode. When I say hit that button, I mean like this...
   DING DING DING DING DING DING DING.
   Repeatedly. No. More often than that.
   Create multiple profiles for yourself. Make sure you are the administrator in each case. Yes, this is very basic archiving advice for authors.
   Learn about restoring the machine to its last known good configuration. And learn about restore points. Hell, just learn. Though this blog post dealt with Microsoft's fun scheme, your own operating system will have its brand-named netting.
   Believe in safety. Plan for danger. Walk the tightrope without a net if you must. Fall. Rise again.

*
  
All those archives and copies were supplies. I couldn't cart them anywhere without my trusty workhorse: the computer. Archiving is part of the story.
   My mistake in not creating a spare set of keys? Basic. Flawed. Repairable. Fortunately.

*
  
What's this next item?
   C:
   It's an unlucky horseshoe emoticon. ;)
  


Sunday 9 February 2014

NEON GODS CHASTISED BY THIEVES: A REPORT FROM A FUGITIVE.

Dust blew off shelves, and I considered a few sequels. I can't publish Neon Gods Chastised by Thieves right after I've written it. The story collides with Neon Gods Derailed by Claws.
   In turn that story rubs shoulders, and knees groins, with later books. Yes, they are arranged alphabetically. No, that does not mean they take place in some semblance of chronological order.
   The first book was labelled steampunk. A frothy alleyway of the sword and science flavour, this clockwork sewer tributary of a term is neither here nor there to me.
   Still, if the shoe fits, Cyberella...
   I've been writing this series in some strange mosaically-inspired fashion. Eventually, the tiles will fall into place and we'll all see the bigger picture.
   Weeding is helpful. I found two chronologies - which makes sense. There are snippets from the dim past, and those have a place in the mosaic.
   What I found unacceptable was the different time-frames I'd employed across the files. The ancient era ends with the death of a despot a century before...
   He's cut into chunks.
   The year 500-odd is remembered by characters who grew up in the shadows of relatives and their remembrances of times past.
   So far, so normal.
   With the Tyrant's death, a new broom swept in and life rebooted in the year 1. The main story kicks off with the death of a king in the year 99, and the conspiracy that unfolds in 100.
   So far, so normal.
   Events from the Tyrant's time spill a long stain over the stories that happen a century on.
   Everything seemed easy enough to work out. Except, in one file, I labelled the early events in negative numbers leading up to the Tyrant's fall.
   So I had three numbering systems going. Weeding is helpful. All that year -25 nonsense is gone. I created a list, year by year - with the old system and the new - showing who was born, who died, what happened...
   And I banished negativity. This happened in the year 500-odd. And then, after the Tyrant's fall, in the year 23...
   I have whole sections written and whole sections planned. They must flow in and out of competing stories - whole novels - and still make some kind of sense when viewed as a mosaic.
   Progress is glacial. But it is progress. Dozens of files contain notes. Gradually, they are absorbed into larger files. These characters go on that adventure...
   And those characters turn elsewhere.
   This character appears across volumes.
   I have been drawing maps and making charts. Spitting teeth. All to build this strange mosaic. Readers should get it when they see what happens in book two.
   Oh.
   Like that. Or...
   Oh fuck!
   That's more likely.
   I mean it in a good way. Though bad things must happen to much-loved characters. Not that you know who those much-loved characters are, yet. Leave that nonsense to me.

  

Sunday 2 February 2014

SAVE YOUR WORK. BACK IT UP. COPY THAT. AND DON'T FORGET TO PUBLISH: A REPORT FROM A FUGITIVE.

Archiving on my mind. Or...
   On the brain.
   Once upon a then, I lost two computers to an evil kidney transplant. The evil kidney was a defective DVD player. It killed the donor and the donee.
   But I didn't lose data - only the primitive machine husks surrounding all my precious, semi-precious, and not-so-precious info.
   The info escaped in pods designed for catastrophe.
   This year I spent a long time archiving last year's material. The better part of three weeks, as I type.
   Save your data from the cold. Wrap the info in multiple layers. Watch Jack Lemmon talk about defence in depth in The China Syndrome.

*

So what did I back up, where, how, when, and why?

Why? To preserve my files.

When? Periodically. Often. We're appropriating a military term, defence in depth, and applying the notion to the saving of work. Let's run with that military theme...
   At the tactical level, I save stories paragraph by paragraph. Down at microscopic size, I may save after a witty line of dialogue.
   Up at the grand strategic level, I'll make sure I have the whole year's output saved come the start of a new year.
   Rising to cosmic levels of awareness, each year's archive is shunted over to a new year after saving. So the 2011 archive is the 2012 archive. And that's also the 2013 archive.
   The 2011 archive is saved three times over.
   This isn't of great concern in terms of size - Microsoft Word files may be wordy, but they are rarely massive. Just checking this, I see the 2013 archive has around a thousand files - and that doesn't amount to 400 MB of material.
   The 300-odd MB is mostly taken up by cover art experiments. Typically, a FICTION FACTORY story file uses 400 K.
   I'm writing this directly into Blogger and saving it. The autosave refused to work and gave me a warning. I saved.
   Whoops. For a few seconds there, the blog post accidentally published. Mouse took a spasm. I was able to revert to unpublished mode.
   Time to refresh my memory. AND DON'T FORGET TO PUBLISH. Perhaps I should add, WHEN YOU ARE READY.
   Okay, so you get the idea. The 2013 archive is the 2012 archive with more material, and the 2012 archive is the 2011 archive with more material.
   All of those archives are backed up. Copies of copies of copies. We'll hear from Swift...

So, naturalists observe, a flea, Has smaller fleas that on him prey;
And these have smaller still to bite 'em, And so proceed ad infinitum.


How and where? Digitally, for the most part. Files are stored on two computers, on USB memory sticks, on the (koff) external hard drive, on DVD, and on the mystical cloud.
   Non-digitally, some material is printed or written by hand.
   Organically, I store material in the mind.

*

Where else? On Amazon. My stories are published. Where else? As a matter of record, with the British Library. Where else? In the minds of readers.
   Just remembered, I gave a disc to someone for safekeeping. And there are printed stories in the clutches of assorted night creatures.
   Also, my two living hard drives from dead computers? They act as back-ups, even though they'll gradually fall out of date.

*

I'm going to mention the external hard drive. It died. No it didn't. The external hard drive was there to act as an extra line of defence. (Though I archive annually for convenience, I don't wait the whole effing year to save files to separate sources.)
   Couldn't access it.
   Tried everything. (Koff.) The only way to make use of the device was to format the poor thing. Didn't work.
   What's the punchline? I removed the dead drive from this machine with the intention of trying, one last time, to access the drive from another computer.
   The second I unplugged the USB connection, my computer flickered. I realised, instantly (far too late), what I should have suspected FROM THE START.
   My USB cable was defective.
   And so it proved. I performed a simple transplant operation, sliding another cable into place. Suddenly my extra back-up facility was alive again.
   Immediately, I deleted files from the drive. Duplicate files that are truly redundant? Remove those. After that, I updated the external hard drive. An extra layer, protecting against the cold.

*

What happens if defence in depth fails?
   Let me think about that. All the paperwork would have to burn. And drives? Count them. Five separate hard drives must also burn beyond repair. Three USB sticks, too. The fireproof safe? Ditto.
   I'd have to lose paper stories out and about. And any discs I gave for safekeeping. Oh, and the cloud storage...
   If that stuff goes, yes, all of that, I'll step out into the glowing landscape and embrace the fucking meteor-strike.

*

By far the safest method of backing up your work is PUBLICATION. Run a test. Go to AMAZON. KINDLE STORE. Type RLL. That's my back-up system.
   Make it yours. Publish your stories.